When Shame Turns Life Into a Performance | For Mannerless Women
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Show notes
What happens when shame quietly teaches you to perform instead of be? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Kenyan comedian, activist, and writer Justine Wanda for a deeply honest conversation about shame, identity, adoption, grief, and unlearning survival modes. Justine shares how growing up adopted shaped her sense of belonging, why humour became a shield, and how much of her early life, from school to university, was spent performing to avoid being questioned or exposed. She reflects on the slow breaking of that performance, and the relief that came with realising that everyone is carrying their own invisible struggles. This episode explores:
How shame can turn your entire life into a performanceUsing humour as protection and survivalIdentity after adoption and lossNavigating grief, belonging, and chosen familyLetting go of who you had to be to surviveLearning to be seen without performingThis is a conversation for women who have ever felt like they had to be funny, fine, or palatable to be accepted, and for anyone learning how to extend grace to themselves while becoming. If this episode resonates, share it with a mannerless woman who needs the reminder that her truth doesn’t need to be edited to be worthy.
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